It's yet another Matthew Broderick Ferris Bueller (a 1986 classic movie filmed in Chicago, youngins) quote I turn to which applies here.
"The extreme always seems to make an impression," Broderick said moments before ditching school as Bueller, then heading with his girlfriend and best friend to the Cubs game in the film.
That extreme, I'm here to say, needs to be the old Wizard of Oz himself.
That's right, former White Sox/Marlins/multiple World Series winning coach/manager and trash-talking foulmouth, tell-it-like-it-is skipper Ozzie Guillen.
The same one who helped end an 88-year title drought on the South Side of Chicago. The same one who wore out his welcome, forgot there was ever such a thing as political correctness. And perhaps quite accurately, got too full of his own hot air and was whisked out of Florida after a Marlin-sized divorce in their new ballpark with a team that flopped under huge expectations.
Ozzie is Chicago. He's lived here much of his life. He's every sports reporter's dream. And sometimes nightmare. He's a walking testament to First Amendment rights if there is a poster child for such.
He also was on the field as a third base coach for the Marlins that fateful night in late 2003, when Shocktober put the Cubs in the bullseye of the biggest Twilight Zone moment/controversy, if you ask me, in Major League Baseball History.
You doubt that? Name one bigger?
In the grand scale of things, the need for the Cubs to generate interest among its rapidly declining fan base is urgent. Gone are portions of the massive contracts of the likes of Alfonso Soriano and others, which weighed the North siders down like an anchor holds a boat.
The Bartman moment, as we call it, was a euphemism of the entire 100-plus years of Cubs futility. It was the Leon Durham ground ball. It was the black cat and Miracle Mets in 1969. It was the loss in the 1945 series, before most even knew what color TV was.
Think about that? It's been that long.
To blame an entire season on one man ... a man who, sure, should've known better (C'mon Steve, you're wearing a Cubs hat in the biggest moment literally in Cubs history, squeak out of the way a bit) ... well, it's asinine.
And that's been part of Cubs culture for too long.
Forget your rivalries, your biases, fans.
Winning teams don't let moments define them.
Or to quote Kevin Costner in the movie "Tin Cup":
"When a defining moment comes along, you either define the moment, or you let the moment define you."
What would've happened that night if Alou caught that ball? Or if Alex Gonzalez had fielded that grounder?
So many "what-ifs." The Cubs have let moment after moment define them.
It gets blamed on black cats ... even billy goats. A Cubs curse, they call it.
That's what over a century of losing does.
So I am here to tell Cubs general manager Theo Epstein, he of Moneyball fame:
Go for it.
With your team rebuilding, you have nothing to lose. Guillen has already said he will gladly manage the Cubs. He is the right guy to drum up interest, to re-invigorate a fan base for the right reasons.
If he gets too far out on his leash, you let him go. The risk is minimal. The potential reward?
Huge. Earth-shattering.
Say what you want about Guillen. He eats, lives, breathes and speaks baseball. He knows every aspect of the game. His experience, his passion ... don't ever underestimate that.
The man could be the potential missing puzzle piece to a masterpiece that would literally redefine Chicago history forever.
Your move, Theo.
Define the moment. Breathe life into Chicago Cubs baseball again.
Listen to Ozzie's words last week.
"All my kids ask me that, Guillen said. "Would you ever manage the Cubs if they asked? Hey, this is my business. This is my job. Of course I will.
"If I win in this town … I don’t know what they’re going to think about Michael and Oprah and Phil Jackson."
Breathe life back into Chicago Cubs baseball again, Mr. Epstein. Even if that breath happens to filled with a few occasional cuss words from the Oz.
Because rest assured, if he helps bring home a World Series, you'll be cussing too. All of you.
In fact, I promise.
