But you could have fooled Chicago Bears fans.
Their skies were beaming with sunshine during that time, as news their beloved team had just traded for superstar Oakland Raiders linebacker Khalil Mack swept through the sports world the same way a shockwave ripples through the ground during a powerful earthquake.
The bold move by Bears General Manager Ryan Pace, which is reported to include his team sending two future first-round draft picks to Oakland, was enough to make us all rub our sleepy eyes as we awoke to make sure we were, in fact, reading things right.
Stuff like this just doesn't happen in our city. That's where decades of post-1985 Bears glory will take you ... to a culture full of sarcasm, cynicism and perennial doubt.
I'm here to say, it's time to come off the ledge, Bears fans. You have yourself a football team again. One that is going to become must-watch TV this fall and winter.
I'm not saying you should break out your "Super Bowl Shuffle" VHS tapes and start dancing. But what I am saying is, the Bears will be better than they were a year ago, and not only that, I think they are talented enough, barring injuries, to push for a playoff spot.
Many of you sit there laughing as you read that last sentence. Don't. Instead, let the evidence speak for itself.
First, there's Mack, who is a freak of nature that has drawn comparisons to Lawrence Taylor by some top NFL analysts. In four seasons, Mack has tallied 40.5 sacks, 231 solo tackles, four forced fumbles, nine fumble recoveries, and in what is the most telling stat of all, has started all 16 games every season.
Add that to a defensive core that includes first-round pick Roquan Smith, Akiem Hicks, Leonard Floyd, Adrian Amos, Kyle Fuller, Eddie Jackson and Danny Trevathan, and suddenly, you have a group that may actually be worthy of the nickname "Monsters of the Midway."
In a league where offense is king, and fortunes change in the blink of an eye, having a top-tier defense still remains paramount. A year ago, only three NFC teams allowed fewer points than Chicago, and their names were Minnesota, which won the NFC North, Altanta, who went 10-6, and Philadelphia, which won some shiny Lombardi Trophy thing.
Not only do the Bears return most of their core defensive players from a season ago, they have their defensive coordinator, Vic Fangio back, meaning most of the guys will have a strong grasp of his schemes and concepts from the first snap against the Packers Week 1 at Lambeau Field.
Two of the three teams the Bears are chasing in the standings, Green Bay and Detroit, allowed 64 and 56 more points than they did in 2017, respectively.
Naysayers will point out that you need an offense to win. I will remind them the Bears have a running back in Jordan Howard who rushed for 1,122 yards a year ago, and another agile freak in Tarik Cohen, who can potentially break a play for a touchdown every time he touches the football.
Quarterback Mitchell Trubisky will certainly be better, too, thanks to the addition of receiver Allen Robinson, who, prior to missing all but one game in 2017, caught 20 TD passes in 2015 and 2016. Throw in rookie Anthony Miller, who looks like the real deal, at the slot receiver position, and suddenly, Nagy has options this team never imagined a season ago when it came to playcalling.
And I'm not the only one who's suddenly bullish on this squad's chances. When the news broke that the Bears signed Mack, Las Vegas oddsmakers dropped Chicago's odds to win the Super Bowl from 100-1 to 40-1 instantly.
That's not just a leap, that's a canyon-sized jump.
Perhaps the Bears will flail and crash and burn in spectacular fashion again in 2018, as we have been accustomed to.
But if there's one thing I've learned in my years covering football and other sports, it's this.
Most of the time, magical things happen when fans least expect them to. The Eagles and Rams are two examples of teams that went from also-rans to juggernauts a year ago seemingly overnight.
Suddenly, opening night against our hated rivals, the Green Bay Packers, just got a whole hell of a lot more interesting. And meaningful.
And it's been a long, long time since we were able to use the words "Bears" and "meaningful," in the same sentence around here.
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